Restructuring Life Priorities

Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

Proverbs 19:21 (Missie's Remix)
"If you follow God's plan for your life, there will be detours from what you planned."

Once upon a time, it was my dream to be a physical therapist. I went to World Changers one summer and God said, "Nope! I want you to go and be my hands and feet to youth and children." Following his calling I was led to Campbell University in North Carolina -where, consequently, David decided to go as well. I worked diligently on my undergrad and was able to receive my Bachelor of Arts in Religion and Christian Ministries with honors.
Amidst all this studying, David and I felt God calling us to take a further step in our relationship and become husband and wife. In my mind, there was no reason that I could not be a student and a wife at the same time. So I made plans to continue with my education to work on my Master's of Divinity. I thought for sure this is what God wanted me to do.
Little did I know ... God was already putting his plan in motion. I was still working at Samaria Baptist Church when we got married, we were living in Angier, and we were both in school. I thought we had it all figured out. But then October after we got married, my body reacted horribly to the birth control that I was on. The birth control actually caused my body to mimic pregnancy symptoms. This was the first time we had ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby sooner ... and knowing that it was a real possibility for that to happen. Even after my body finally started stabling out to normal, we continued to think about this possibility of a baby in our lives. After the birth control fiasco, my body ended up skipping an entire cycle. Was I pregnant? Why wasn't I having a period? Why were the tests negative? What's wrong with me? (All of the funkiness birth control caused my body to go through, I feel God used to allow us some time to think about what our lives would look like with a baby and how we would manage.) We finally agreed that if it was God's will for us to have a baby we would have one ... and we decided to leave it up to God. After we found that peace with God ... we waited.

*Interlude*
While we were dealing with all of these thoughts, my work life was going through changes! I had been working part time at Samaria Baptist Church as the Minister of Youth and Children. But they were having financial problems and decided to let go of a couple staff members. At first it was hard to deal with ... but I decided to look for something better. (Little did I know at the time, but God really had his hand in all of this.) From things I hear through the grapevine, I'm glad we got out when we did. My plan after losing my job was to look for a full time job. I heard from a couple churches ... including an email from this one church looking for a part time position. I didn't prioritize that email at first because I was looking for a full time job.
*Back to Story*


And then, lo and behold, I decide to test again ... and voila! The little plus sign immediately appeared! Could it be? Are you serious? Oh my goodness!! Is it really happening?! Because I had already found that peace with God and I knew that David and I had already talked about the possibility that this might happen, I was able to see that plus sign without any feelings of turmoil! A smile crept onto my face and I was stoked! I was going to be a mom!! Ever since I was a little girl I always had that special touch with little babies and little kids. I always dreamed about the day that I would have my wonderful husband ... and my beautiful children. And all of a sudden my dream was coming earlier than I used to plan! Obviously ... God's plan was different than mine. But hey! He knows best, right?
So, the reality continued to sink in over the next 9 months.
Knowing that I would be a mom ... a full time job didn't seem so feasible anymore. And then one day I got this call from a church ... the same church that sent me that email a few weeks prior looking for a part time Minister of Youth and Children. The funny thing about this offer was ... they were calling to request my resume ... and to set up a meeting. They were given my name from a member of Samaria and decided to contact me first! So God was setting up forces beyond my control. I decided to meet with them and everything fell into place! It is a great place for us ... esp starting a family!
We also realized that we should start looking at a more permanent home for us to have a family. So we bought a house closer to Raleigh where I worked ... and David was able to transfer to the Clayton store.
I thought I had everything figured out. I took the fall semester off from Campbell when Carissa was born. Then I would return in the spring. I would take 9 hours. And just take my time through school. I knew I didn't need my degree until my kids were older, as I didn't plan on working full time until they are all in school - and I want 5 kids, so it will be a while! David and I worked our schedule so that we didn't have to put Carissa in daycare and we had everything worked out for when we had classes.
What I did not plan on was the undesire to do any work at home - or the lack of time. I really tried to make things work. I was getting by with good grades ... but I knew I could do better. I finally hit a brick wall halfway through the semester. I knew I needed to rethink things when I couldn't sit down and write a 4 page Book Review or a 4 page Reflection Paper. (Especially when I used to be able to sit down and write a 10-15 page paper without a second thought!)
I struggled for a while with my options. I was never one to quit something - especially school. I prayed. I talked to David. I talked to my mom. Both of whom reassured me that they support me in whatever I decide. I was joking about "Dropping Out" and David said, "It's not so much that you are dropping out as restructuring your priorities."
How right he was! That statement helped me to refocus on God. Before Carissa, I was set in living my life. Yes, I thought I was doing what God wanted ... but it had been a while since I stopped to check with Him. Obviously, giving us Carissa and a new job and a new home should have made me stop and check in with God to see if I was still doing what He wanted. Having a child changes everything! My life is no longer just about me ... or even about David and I. It's about raising our daughter to be a Child of God. I think long ago God made it the desire of my heart to be an active caretaker and teacher to my children. It became obviously clear that there was no way for me to be a productive student and the kind of homemaker that I felt called to do at the same time - at least not now.
As soon as I decided that God wished for my priorities to become more focused on creating a Godly Family, this undescribable peace came over me! It's amazing when you experience truly knowing you are right where you are supposed to be. And it takes such a weight off when your priorities become aligned with God's plan!
So I am making a detour from what I orginally planned ... but it's okay because I'm following what God has planned for me!