Thought Processor

I love to write. It is such a release for all the thoughts floating around in this pretty little head of mine. But sadly enough, when I have the most going on and have a head crammed too full of stuff ... these are the times I fail to write. I have so many things I want to write about, but I have so much else going on that by the time I sit down in the evenings I am too overwhelmed to know where to begin with my writings!  (So .. sorry I have not written in a while!)

But I'm aiming to change that ... my blog in a way is like my "thought processor." Even if no one reads this who even cares about what's going on in my world, it is nice to be able to get things off my chest, out of my head, and written somewhere. In a way, I think it makes my thoughts feel more tangible. I am able to look at them and structure them the way I feel they should be. And once I have written them and published them, that should be the end of my processing them in my mind - "should" being the operative word.

Do you ever have things on your mind that you have thought about repeatedly; and even though logically you know it's not worth your time to think about, you can't help but think about it? Yeah ... I have lots of those things too! It frustrates me to no end that I let things bother me enough to consume my thoughts. Sure, some things warrant some thought effort, but not consumption. I guess that's why we all need outlets to get things out in the open so they don't consume us. (Although, for now ... the number one thoughts I am struggling with now need to remain out of my blog ... )

But other stressors ... Now that one door has closed for us, will this other door that is opening remain opened - or will it too close? Will David hear good news back from this potential job? Are we going to be able to sell our house? Are we going take a huge financial hit in order to get out from under our house? How in the world am I supposed to get my house into "Viewing Condition" while I work every day just to keep my house functioning daily with 2 small children, 3 cats, and 2 dogs? Are we going to be moving soon, a little later, or not at all? What is in store for us? Something good has to come right? 

For now ... all I can do is take things one day at a time. Every time I start thinking about the future, and the what ifs, and the hows, and the whys .... I get overwhelmed. It is taking a lot of faith to trust that God has something better in store for us. I know that this is not where He has intended us to stay. I know He has a perfect plan. And while even though things seem impossible at times, He has always provided and we have always had enough and more.

I was listening to the radio on the way back from the airport and I heard a song I've heard a million times before, but it resonated a new chord with me today.

The song is "Feels like Today" by Rascal Flatts ...

(Lyrics)

I woke up this morning

with this feeling side me that I can't explain

like a weight that I've carried 

been carried away, away

But I know something is coming

I don't know what it is 

But I know it's amazing, you save me

My time is coming

And I'll find my way out of this longest drought ...

It feels like today I know

It feels like today I'm sure

It's the one thing that's missing

The one things I'm wishing

Life's sacred blessin' and then

It feels like today

feels like today

You treat life like a picture

But it's not a moment that's frozen in time

It's not gonna wait 

til you make up your mind, at all

So while this storm is breakin

while there's light at the end of the tunnel

keep running towards it

Releasing the pressure, that my heartache

soon this dam will break

And it feels like today, I know

It feels like today, I'm sure

It's the one thing that's missin'

The one thing you're wishin'

Life's sacred blessin' and then,

It feels like today

Feels like, feels like your life changes

I feel like all of these changes that are happening are just the beginnings to something better. These changes have to happen so we can be finally be on our way to living the life God always intended for us. And it feels like today..... :)