When I was an energetic teenager in the youth group at church, I loved to do skits. A skit a friend and I did numerous times was one called, "Not My Jesus."
In the skit, my friend and I played 2 friends
who were discussing who Jesus was.
Each time we came up with an "image" of who Jesus was,
we acted out a scene to portray that character.
The first images were ones that did not accurately portray Jesus, and the scene was performed to demonstrate the absurdity. We ended each scene by saying,
"That's not my Jesus."
It ultimately came down to one of the characters thinking about the "storms of life" and the new scene began. In this scene we were fisher-women on a boat when a storm hit. We panic and ask "Where's Jesus?" And miraculously, Jesus comes and calms the storm.
That's my Jesus.
This may have been a funny skit we performed, but the meaning behind it still rings true for me today. Some days it rains, some days it pours, and some days it just downright storms. No matter how dark or sunny the days seem, God always has a way of reminding me of His presence. He does not leave me in these overwhelming times. Sometimes He chooses to calm the storm when I turn my focus on Him; but sometimes, He chooses to calm my soul so that I can make it through the storm still intact.
Today was one of those overwhelming days that had been an accumulation of days prior. My day began when I woke up hearing my big girls arguing over who was going to go to the potty first. Thing 1 was willing to let Thing 2 go first, but Thing 2 was crying and refusing to get off her bed until someone carried her to the bathroom. Good morning to me. Our morning followed suit with their bickering and ugliness towards one another. They have also fallen into a habit of simply ignoring direct instructions and being disobedient. Thing 3 was ready for her nap, so I slipped away to the bedroom to get her down for her nap. Every time I made any progress in getting her to sleep, one of the big girls would come in and ask me to do something - completely ignoring my gestures and requests to be quiet and leave the room until I had her asleep. Of course by this time, Thing 3 was overtired because we missed the magic window of getting her to sleep before she was tired enough to fight sleep. So now she was in full on screaming mode and absolutely nothing I did calmed her. It was definitely time for Mommy to have a time out. I decided that if she was going to scream while I was holding her, it wouldn't do her any harm to scream in her bed for a few minutes while I had a glass of tea - and vented to Daddy via text message.
Oh and did I mention I now had a headache?
After drinking some tea, I went to check on Thing 2 who had been in the bathroom for a very long time. There I found her mostly naked and filling up the bathroom sink, with water all over. Really?! I spoke harshly towards her and sent her out of the bathroom while I cleaned up the mess. I made my way to Thing 3 and was finally able to pat her to sleep.
By this time Thing 1 and 2 were happily playing in their room and Thing 3 was sleeping, so I returned to my glass of tea and decided to read the devotional I received in my email. It was titled Learn to Love Your Story (click to read the devotional). Couldn't help but chuckle at the title considering I was ready to go back to bed and start today all over again (and it wasn't even lunch time yet). As I started reading, I felt like I could have been reading about a day in my life. It was definitely one of those moments that reminded me God was present. He knew exactly where I was, and sent me His word in a message with which I could relate at the precise moment I needed it.
I don't believe it was coincidence.
Sure. Storms will hit my house.
There will be many days I am ready to
rewind and start all over again.
But in the midst of these stormy days,
there will be many beautiful moments.
Even today, with as crazy as it was ...
... my big girls painted my toe nails.
... we painted Thing 3's toes for the first time.
... I heard "I love you, Mommy."
... I had an opportunity to humble myself and show my children how to apologize.
... I got to snuggle my wee baby girl.
... I got to go bowling with my girls, and see how much they have grown in their skills since beginning the league 10 weeks ago.
... I watched my girls run around in the rain wearing bathing suits.
... I had dinner done at the time I wanted us to have dinner.
... we had extra time to hang out with girls before bedtime because dinner was on time.
... my hubby cleaned up after dinner and even did some laundry for me while I cuddled a sleeping baby.
I am sure my list could continue.
As well, I could create a list that showed
the stormy part of my evening,
but why would I want to do that?
I don't think this is my last stormy day in this season of life, but God is working to calm my soul. He is teaching me to love my story even when the clouds are gray. If I look hard enough, I am sure to see a rainbow.
"When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, 'Silence! Be still!' Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm."
Mark 4:39
