In the Storms of Life

When I was an energetic teenager in the youth group at church, I loved to do skits. A skit a friend and I did numerous times was one called, "Not My Jesus."

In the skit, my friend and I played 2 friends 

who were discussing who Jesus was. 

Each time we came up with an "image" of who Jesus was, 

we acted out a scene to portray that character.

The first images were ones that did not accurately portray Jesus, and the scene was performed to demonstrate the absurdity. We ended each scene by saying, 

"That's not my Jesus." 

It ultimately came down to one of the characters thinking about the "storms of life" and the new scene began. In this scene we were fisher-women on a boat when a storm hit. We panic and ask "Where's Jesus?" And miraculously, Jesus comes and calms the storm. 

That's my Jesus.

This may have been a funny skit we performed, but the meaning behind it still rings true for me today. Some days it rains, some days it pours, and some days it just downright storms. No matter how dark or sunny the days seem, God always has a way of reminding me of His presence. He does not leave me in these overwhelming times. Sometimes He chooses to calm the storm when I turn my focus on Him; but sometimes, He chooses to calm my soul so that I can make it through the storm still intact. 

Today was one of those overwhelming days that had been an accumulation of days prior. My day began when I woke up hearing my big girls arguing over who was going to go to the potty first. Thing 1 was willing to let Thing 2 go first, but Thing 2 was crying and refusing to get off her bed until someone carried her to the bathroom. Good morning to me. Our morning followed suit with their bickering and ugliness towards one another. They have also fallen into a habit of simply ignoring direct instructions and being disobedient. Thing 3 was ready for her nap, so I slipped away to the bedroom to get her down for her nap. Every time I made any progress in getting her to sleep, one of the big girls would come in and ask me to do something - completely ignoring my gestures and requests to be quiet and leave the room until I had her asleep. Of course by this time, Thing 3 was overtired because we missed the magic window of getting her to sleep before she was tired enough to fight sleep. So now she was in full on screaming mode and absolutely nothing I did calmed her. It was definitely time for Mommy to have a time out. I decided that if she was going to scream while I was holding her, it wouldn't do her any harm to scream in her bed for a few minutes while I had a glass of tea - and vented to Daddy via text message. 

Oh and did I mention I now had a headache?

After drinking some tea, I went to check on Thing 2 who had been in the bathroom for a very long time. There I found her mostly naked and filling up the bathroom sink, with water all over. Really?! I spoke harshly towards her and sent her out of the bathroom while I cleaned up the mess. I made my way to Thing 3 and was finally able to pat her to sleep. 

By this time Thing 1 and 2 were happily playing in their room and Thing 3 was sleeping, so I returned to my glass of tea and decided to read the devotional I received in my email. It was titled Learn to Love Your Story (click to read the devotional). Couldn't help but chuckle at the title considering I was ready to go back to bed and start today all over again (and it wasn't even lunch time yet). As I started reading, I felt like I could have been reading about a day in my life. It was definitely one of those moments that reminded me God was present. He knew exactly where I was, and sent me His word in a message with which I could relate at the precise moment I needed it.

I don't believe it was coincidence. 

Sure. Storms will hit my house. 

There will be many days I am ready to 

rewind and start all over again. 

But in the midst of these stormy days, 

there will be many beautiful moments. 

Even today, with as crazy as it was ...

... my big girls painted my toe nails.

... we painted Thing 3's toes for the first time.

... I heard "I love you, Mommy." 

... I had an opportunity to humble myself and show my children how to apologize.

... I got to snuggle my wee baby girl.

... I got to go bowling with my girls, and see how much they have grown in their skills since beginning the league 10 weeks ago.

... I watched my girls run around in the rain wearing bathing suits.

... I had dinner done at the time I wanted us to have dinner.

... we had extra time to hang out with girls before bedtime because dinner was on time.

... my hubby cleaned up after dinner and even did some laundry for me while I cuddled a sleeping baby.

I am sure my list could continue. 

As well, I could create a list that showed 

the stormy part of my evening, 

but why would I want to do that?

I don't think this is my last stormy day in this season of life, but God is working to calm my soul. He is teaching me to love my story even when the clouds are gray. If I look hard enough, I am sure to see a rainbow.

"When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, 'Silence! Be still!' Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm."

Mark 4:39 

A Year in a Blink

I closed my eyes for just a second and when I opened them an entire year had passed.
Well, that's how it feels anyway.
Shamefully, I neglected this blog this past year. So much has changed from a year ago, that I always felt I couldn't just "pick up where I left off" ... it needed some segue, so I procrastinated. (What else is new?)
So here I am to try and pick back up, ready for a New Year.

In 2011, we moved to Virginia from North Carolina. We now live with David's grandmother (we help her with the cooking and cleaning and such :)) in the house that David's parents own. We have been so blessed with this living arrangement because we have been unsuccessful with selling or renting our North Carolina house.
In 2011, we joined the church that David went to as a youth - the church that took him to World Changers back in 2000 when we met :) ... It is such a wonderful place to worship God without feeling like it has become a duty, rather it is a delight. I have joined the choir, and ensemble, and help lead the Preschool choir. The girls are enjoying their classes as well. Carissa loves preschool choir, Sunday school, and Mission Friends. And David is a member of the Hand Bell choir. We very much enjoy our young marrieds' Sunday school class, and have made wonderful new friends. Such a blessing!
In 2011, David FINALLY got a job with his degree - making about what we were both making combined in 2010. He enjoys his job and is currently studying to work on getting certifications so he can continue to move up in his field! What an answer to prayers!
In 2011, I developed a love (and discovered a talent) for sewing! I started out with sewing (and selling) cloth diapers! I learned a lot from that experience! Biggest lesson was that if I am going to run a WAHM business, I have to make it fit my family - not make my family fit my business. I began by taking custom orders, only to realize how huge the demand was! I absolutely could not keep up! My poor children and the condition of my home were neglected miserably, and I was so stressed trying to get all the diapers finished in a timely manner for customers. On top of all of that, I hit a few bumps along the way with the functionality of the diapers that I had to fix and ended up replacing diapers. Yow! Can you say OVERWHELMED? I had to take a huge step back. I attempted to get caught up and then create a stock. I had a lot of people anxious for me to "reopen" so I set a date for them, only I wasn't ready in time. I worked round the clock and stressed myself out to get a decent stock made (and still didn't finish what I'd hoped to), and half of what I did finish sold almost immediately. But whenever I pushed myself to make a lot of diapers to meet a deadline, I crashed and burned and the idea of sewing more diapers did not appeal to me. So I took another step back, and have pretty much just set that business aside - temporarily.  I started sewing other things for fun to rekindle my love of creating. I have decided that I do not want to limit myself to just sewing cloth diapers. I want to be able to enjoy making a variety of items - at my own pace. So now I plan to SLOWLY work on building a "boutique" of sorts - and I will open ONLY when I am completely satisfied with my available stock, and have my patterns and kinks worked out. (Check out my sewing blog for the latest on my projects: Sewtastic Fun )

In 2011, I became a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. While I thoroughly enjoy my sewing businesses, I have to put in a lot of time to make much of a profit right now. Some pieces of the puzzle came together and this opportunity opened up for me. I really enjoy this! It has been slow going for me as of yet (but I truly don't want to burn out on something else on my plate). I am working on getting things organized and ready to make the most of 2012 - and hopefully start having consistent events so that I can start adding to our family's income.

In 2011, we celebrated Kathryn's 1st Birthday and Carissa's 3rd birthday! My how they are growing up SO quickly!!! Both of them are extremely talkative - really ... I don't have any idea where they could have picked that up ;) .... Hmm. They are super sisters. They truly love each other and are always thinking of the other. I will have to post future blogs to highlight their development and personalities because I could write a lot about them! They are my pride and joy for sure! :)

In 2011,  God had taught me one major lesson: I need to stop trying to leave the season of life God has me in, because He has me here for a reason. Instead, I need to step back and see Him at work. I have seen countless accounts of God showing me the reason we are where we are. This was not what we had planned by any means, and it was not the best of circumstances that headed us down this path. But all of 2010, I ignored what I knew in my gut God was telling me to do, and I was miserable. Allowing Him to take the reigns and just trusting that He will provide has proven to be the best thing ever. Our life is 100x better this year than it was last year, and I owe Him all the praise! I know we are still on a journey. But I feel my trust, my faith, and my patience have all grown a lot in the last year! I know God has big things in store for us! And I am anxiously looking forward to all that 2012 has in store for us!! :)

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

A Quarter of a Century

Quiet places often lead to reflection. I am sitting here at my in-laws, David is back in NC working, both of my girls have been sleeping for over an hour now, David's parents are both at work, his brother has been quietly working on his computer, and his soon-to-be sister-in-law is taking a nap. I am not used to having this much quiet. At home I would have filled this quiet with trying to accomplish a huge to-do-list. But alas, I am able to think (which could be dangerous).
Every year this season sneaks up on us so quickly. This year so much has been happening, and now I am sitting here thinking about what the future holds. I looked at the date and realized today is the 23rd of November .... already?! Wait ... that means .... Tomorrow I turn twenty-five years old!? When did I grow up so quickly? Wasn't I just in high school? Where does time go?
It's funny though, 25 means I am a quarter of a century old now ... but it doesn't feel very special lol. But you know, in just a mere 25 years I have a lot to be proud of.

• I survived being the oldest of 5 children.
• I was always active in my church.
• I twirled baton for 9 years.
• I played soccer for 4 years.
• I have read every hardback classic Nancy Drew book (you know, the yellow ones?)
• I was baptized 4 days before my 9th birthday.
• I finished K-12 with straight A's.
• I graduated Valedictorian.
• I earned 3 full tuition scholarships (although only used one).
• I participated in World Changers every year from 6th grade-12th grade, and have since taken a group as the leader for 3 years.
• I met my husband 10 1/2 years ago!
• I have a Bachelor of Arts in Religion and Christian Ministry (and have some of a Master of Divinity finished).
• I graduated college as Cum Laude.
• I got my first job as a bagger for Winn-Dixie when I was 15 years old, and by the time I quit that job 6 years later, I was an Assistant Customer Service Manager.
• I finished my undergraduate school in 3 1/2 years (but the last semester was also my first semester of graduate school).
• I got engaged on February 24, 2006.
• I got married on June 23, 2007.
• Bought our first house April 2008.
• I found out I was pregnant with our first child on January 23, 2008. Found out in April she was a girl. And gave birth to my beautiful Carissa on September 21, 2008.
• I found out on September 28, 2009 that I was pregnant with our second. Found out January that she was a girl. And gave birth to my precious Kathryn on June 9, 2010!

I probably could come up with so many more things to add. I could also create a list of the not-so-nice things that have happened in these last 25 years, but somehow the list of the great things has a way of outshining the bad.
I look at where I came from, at how immature I was growing up, and I look at my life now and I am so blessed. I love my life. Sure we still hit bumps in the road. But because of who I am, who God is, and the wonderful man God created to be my husband, I know I will always have reason to be thankful.
Sunday, the sermon was about being Thankful - makes sense with Thanksgiving this week. But it wasn't about just being thankful for the things we have. But rather, in all things we should be thankful. In times of happiness, we should be thankful. In times of struggle, we should be thankful. In saddness, we should be thankful. etc. And I know that I have many reasons to always be thankful, no matter what comes my way.
So while I don't know what the next 25 years will hold, I know that because of my first 25 years I will always be blessed with a wonderful life and family.
Happy Birthday to me and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone else :)

Stepping out of the Boat

     Sometimes in life we are presented with opportunities to show God that we trust Him. It is in these moments that we are asked to step out of the comfortable boat and walk on water. The only way that is possible is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, and not to be overwhelmed by the waves crashing all around us. These moments are difficult but can be a very rewarding experience.
     When I think about these moments and struggle, I am reminded of when Jesus chastised Peter for not having enough faith. (Matthew 14:31: Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”) I must take comfort in the fact that Jesus will help me take the necessary steps to following Him towards that rewarding experience; and if for some reason I do get overwhelmed and fall ... I know he will catch me and not let me drown. 
     I am now at a point in my life that God has asked me to step out of the boat and take that step of faith. God put into motion the ball that ultimately is ending my job as Minister of Youth and Children at my church. I know this is the step God wants me to take, as when I realized my job was ending I felt physical relief - almost as if a weight was being lifted from my shoulders. I have no doubts that Jesus is standing there telling me to step of out of the boat and come.
     The waves, though, are high and fierce. I try not to look around at the wave too much because it can be overwhelming, but it hard to not see them. Some of these waves are finances, living arrangements, job details, and other stresses that probably should stay out of my blog for the time being. With my job ending, we will be on David's income alone and right now his income is less than mine. So our income would be cutting drastically. Which leaves us with how to pay bills, and what to do about our house. Right now we own it and pay a mortgage on it. So do we sell it and turn to family for support? Or do we stick it out and eat away at savings until we can't do anything else hoping that something turns around for us? As for job, all of this that has happened was God's way of answering my prayers and making a tough decision for me. I do not plan to look for a new job, especially not one in a church.With me not getting a new job, it puts a lot more pressure on David getting a new job. We prefer one that is with his degree (but that's a whole different blog about companies that require people to have experience, but that leaves people unable to get experience because no one will hire them - vicious cycle!), but if he can't get one with his degree just yet, we hope that something will open up for him that will at least pay the bills.
     All of these waves could really bring us down. They could lead us away from God's plan. And we, like Peter, could start sinking. But Jesus tells us to Trust Him! When we take that step of faith, and we get out of the boat He will protect us and guide our each step. For me, I feel God is calling me away from congregational ministry, but not away from ministry. God is still guiding me in the direction of the ministry that He has planned special for me; I just don't know what that is yet. I've always known I was still on a journey following Him. He has now made it clear it's time to take that step. For me, that step out of the boat is me being able to be a SAHM, teaching my children, taking care of my family, and teaching my children to be lovers of Jesus. My ministry for now is my family. I would hate it if I spent all my time and energy to minister to other people, and I neglect the spiritual and physical needs of my family. I want to devote all of who I am to bring my children up in the ways of the Lord. They were given to me as a blessing from God. He has entrusted David and I with the duty of raising them to be children of God. This is what I know I am called to do. I know that God has more plans in store as life goes on, as my children get older, and I've matured more in my faith. But God only reveals small parts of His plan at a time. And for now this is it.
    So here I am God. I don't know how you will provide, but I know you will. I don't know what's to come, but I know you do. I am getting out of the boat. I am taking a step towards you. My eyes are fixed on you. And, with your help, I will not be overwhelmed by the waves around me.   Amen.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

---

Carolyn Carty, 1963

God as Artist

There are many characteristics that could be attributed to God, but this time I want to focus on God as Artist. This is probably a characteristic that is not commonly recognized as an attribute of God, but tonight I saw a demonstration of His artistic capability.

Here I was, driving home from a meeting at Church on an extremely hot day, and looking ahead of me I begin to see heat lightening. A little at first, but before I know it the lightening is stretching across the sky in some amazing patterns. I really cannot describe how beautiful and magnificent this lightening was. It would begin in a central location and completely branch out for all to see. If I had not had a tired baby in the back seat, I would have loved to just pull over and watch it.
(It reminded me of when I was a child at G.A. camp in Florida, and we loved to watch the heat lightening in the evenings.) What a beautiful display of God's artistic personality.

While I was watching this lightening (I was paying attention to my driving, I promise!), so many things crossed my mind. As I share my thoughts, it is my hope that you too can see God as Artist in some capacity.

First: When I think about lightening in general, I think of something extremely powerful, dangerous, but exhilarating to watch. I definitely have a healthy fear of lightening. It is one of those things that I will appreciate from the comfort of my house without getting too close to windows, water, or electrical circuits. But heat lightening I have always found a little less threatening which gives me freedom to appreciate it without trying to hide from it.
Thinking about this, led me straight to God! God is so powerful!! At times, I think we all have a fear of God's power and try to hide from it (especially if it calls for us to change how we are living). And while, yes, we should at times have a healthy fear of God's power, I think He wants us to appreciate it without feeling threatened. He wants to share with us His magnificent power on a beautiful level. And for me, I saw that thru His heat lightening. In a way, it showed me His artistic sensitive side. I feel like it was His way of telling me, "Look, you know I create this lightening. You know it is one representation of my power. But look, my power is something that is beautiful and I want to share it with you. Everything I do is for you; and tonight, I am filling you with the awesomeness of who I am."
This all led me to my second train of thinking:
This lightening was completely amazing and beautiful, and only someone with an artistic flare could create something so magnificent! Lightening is but one mere masterpiece of God's! But stop and take a look around us - smell the roses if you will. This world we live in was a creation by the first artist - the master of art! It is simply amazing when you actually take the time to appreciate it. And sometimes, if we've been neglecting to take the time to appreciate God's masterpiece, He chooses to put one in our path that we cannot ignore - such as a sky full of heat lightening that was the most beautiful thing!!
It's funny when I think about an artist though, I think of someone who really has this inner self that cannot be defined by words alone... but it needs pictures, colors, feeling, etc. And God definitely fits here. There is no way that I could explain to someone the character of God and who He is to me by simply telling them. I just could never find words to describe Him adequately. But seeing God's creative side invokes emotion in me that gives me an understanding of the complexity of whom God is. There is no way I can describe the emotion either, but I hope that others have experienced this same emotion when looking at God's Art! :)
And all of this ultimately brought me to my third line of thinking.
Since the beginning of time, God has been working on his Ultimate Masterpiece: "His Kingdom"! This will be the most glorious masterpiece of all, not only because He is putting so much time and effort into it - but because He uses His creation as tools to create "His Kingdom."
While I may not fully understand the purpose of everything I go through or what I am supposed to do next, I know that God has a specific way that He wants to use me. Some days, I may be a paintbrush that He uses to touch up, or even to start something new. Other days I may be the paint bringing color to someone else's life. Some days, I may be the rag He uses to clean up a blemish - or bring forgiveness to someone. Other days, I am the tenderness that He puts into making sure it is perfectly up to His standards. I know I could probably drag this analogy out ... but I think I will stop there. The point is no matter what things I am dealing with on a day to day basis in my personal life, I know that it will all work together to help God create His Masterpiece!
They key, however, is to not try to do it myself. Unless you are watching Handy Manny, tools do not perform the tasks by themselves. There is always a greater being who puts their abilities to great use! I, for one, am willing to let God use me in any capacity He sees fit. And the next time I feel like complaining about circumstances in my life, I hope to remember that everything works out for a greater good!! :)

Amazing how many things you can think of on a drive home - all because of seeing series of heat lightening! Thanks for listening! :)

To be or Not to be ...

Luke 9:20-26

“Then He asked them, ‘Who do you say I am?’ Peter replied, ‘You are the Messiah sent from God!’
Messiah means the Anointed King
What are things typically associated with a king?
How do the people under the rule of the king act in regards to their king?
Christ was the King sent from God …
He had been anointed by the One who had created us … who had created the world we live in. He alone is the One we owe tribute for us even being in existence.

Jesus warned them not to tell anyone this. ‘For I, the Son of Man, must suffer many terrible things,’ He said. ‘I will be rejected by the leaders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. I will be killed, but three days later I will be raised from the dead.’
Jesus, being the One sent by God, predicts His future as one who will be slain by men.
But further, He describes a life of rejection. Jesus was a religious teacher … and yet, he told of how other leaders, priests and teachers would reject Him. You would think that fellow teachers and leaders would at least support his message.
But His prediction does not end with death.
He tells the disciples that after three days of being dead, He WILL raise up from the dead.
Jesus – the Anointed King – would not remain dead.



Then he said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me.
After Jesus gets done telling everyone what His future holds, he turns to the people and almost dares them to follow Him.
Essentially Jesus is saying, I’ve laid it all out for you. You now know what the cards will hold if you follow me. There will be persecution. There will be rejection. And, you know, there may be death.
But if you love me and are willing to follow me in spite of all these things, here is what you have to do:
First, you can do nothing for yourself. Following me means you recognize that I know best, I have a perfect plan, and we will follow my perfect plan no matter what it is that you think you might want.
Second, you must shoulder your cross every day. I am about to embark on a journey that includes me shouldering a physical cross and carrying it to me ultimate sacrificial death. I am asking that you every day of your life sacrifice your life to me. Give it to me every day. Not just once – but every day. By carrying your cross every day, I will know that you are willing to be obedient. I know that you are willing to give me your life so that you no longer live – but it is I who lives through you.
Third, Follow Me. Now that you know what things may lay ahead, you’ve made up your mind to follow me anyways. You’ve made my desires your own. And you are giving me your life. The next step is to actually take a step. Let’s play a game of follow the leader. I know you don’t know where we are going. But you must trust me to lead the way. The road may get rocky. I promise I will not lead you through harm. I will be here for. Just follow me.

If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life.
If we are not willing to sacrifice everything to Follow Christ, we are limiting ourselves to things of this world alone. Things of this world cannot be a part of Christ. We must give our lives over to God so that they are no longer of this world so that we may have eternal life with Him.

And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose or forfeit your own soul in the process?
If, while we are on this earth, we only busy ourselves with the things of this world – we don’t allow God to have our lives, then what makes us think we will ever be of anything other than this world?
If we only live in worldly matters, we have missed out on things that could be more. Nothing of this world can ever leave this world. And we would lose our souls – which are of God.
We must tend to our souls – our spiritual needs – so that we can leave behind this world to a greater life with Christ in Heaven.



If a person is ashamed of me and my message, I, the Son of Man, will be ashamed of that person when I return in my glory and in the glory of the Father and the holy angels.’”
We’ve been called to be followers of Christ.
Being a follower of Christ means that it will show in everything we do. Our entire being will belong to the Will of God.
Anytime we refuse to do the will of God – we are displaying shame for Christ. And if we are unwilling to let everyone who sees us know that we Know Christ – then why should we expect Christ to claim to know us in front of His Father or the Angels in Heaven?


Critical Reflection

“If this life is most important to you, you will do everything you can to protect it.
You will not want to do anything that might endanger your safety, health, or comfort.
By contrast, if following Jesus is most important, you may find yourself in some very unsafe, unhealthy, and uncomfortable places. You will risk death, but you will not fear it because you know Jesus will raise you to eternal life.
The person who is concerned only with this life has no such assurance.
His earthly life may be longer, but it will most likely be marred by feelings of boredom and worthlessness.”

Reflecting on Holy Week

I started this blog back before Easter ... but unfortunately I got caught up in everyday family life, church life, and a special trip to Kentucky to see my Gramma in the hospital. But I do feel this is a topic that needs to be written about.

Easter is a time of year that always seems to sneak up on us ... and unfortunately, fly by without a great deal of meditation. On Maundy Thursday, we were having our special service at church to remember the Last Supper that Jesus had with his Disciples and the time leading up to his crucifixion and ultimate death. I don't know what made this service different, but I was really moved to stop and think about what I was doing at that service and what I was supposed to be remembering that week.

The past few years I have been a college student, and as a college student Easter-time means one thing: Midterms! There is no extra time for reflection for the meaning of Easter. The ironic thing - I was a RELIGION major studying Jesus Christ. I KNOW what Easter is about. But it's more than just knowing what Easter is all about. "Easter" occurs each year so that we may celebrate and reflect on the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Yes, the traditional Easter Bunny, Easter Egg Hunts, and receiving an Easter Basket full of goodies are great things at Easter-time, but we must not forget why we have Easter. If we do not stop and think about the true meaning behind it all, we have completely missed out on a great deal! My entire future as a Christian, as a human, and as someone with a hope for life after death all lies within the meaning of Easter.

Okay ... so the reason for Easter ... Jesus' resurrection from the grave. But wow! We are missing out on so much if we limit ourselves to Easter Sunday!

Palm Sunday! Jesus returns to Jerusalem. Jesus entered the city ... and all the peoples were praising Him! One would think these people finally had it figured out! Yes! He is the one who has come to save us! He is God's Son! He is the Messiah! Hallelujah! Amen! I mean seriously, these people lined up along the road waving palm branches singing his praise! How great that must have been. If I had been there, I would have never predicted that the very next week these same people would want him dead. But the awe-striking thing is ... Jesus KNEW His fate. He KNEW that these people would kill Him. That must be hard. How do you face people who are singing your praises and not say, "You hypocrites! Here you are praising my name ... but next week you will want me dead!" This has got to be working on the pit of his stomach. He must have been uneasy about all of it!

Maundy Thursday! Jesus gathers with his closest 12. The ones who have given up everything to follow Him for the past 3 years. They have walked beside Him on long journeys. Wondered how they were going to eat at times. Staying in a different place night to night. They gather to have the traditional passover feast as was a customary Jewish tradition. There really shouldn't be anything different about this feast. But all of a sudden, Jesus - the teacher, the leader of this group - gets up and takes the servant's role. He begins to wash their nasty, dirty, worn out feet! Wow! And of course, Peter stops Him and says, "Jesus! What are you doing?! You are our teacher! Please! Let me wash YOUR feet! It should not be the other way around." But Jesus says, "If I do not wash your feet, you will have no part of me." I think there are a few things that can be gathered from that right there. 1. Jesus must be the one to cleanse us from our sin so that we can be with Him. 2. Jesus is taking on a servant role to demonstrate what His followers must do. 3. I think this was a foreshadowing of what was to come. Jesus washing His disciples' feet was unexpected and not the "norm." But it was something He must do in order for His disciples to fully receive what Jesus had to offer. In the same token, Jesus dying a criminal's death was not expected or the "norm" for a so-called Savior/Messiah. But it had to be done. I think it was also a point to the disciples that if they tried to stop Him from what He was about to go through with, they would not be with Him in Heaven.
Just thinking about what must have been going through Jesus' mind through all of this is overwhelming. These are men that Jesus had come to know and care about deeply over the past 3 years. They have spent probably every day together. They have talked together, eaten together, shared together. He loves them as if they were his own flesh and blood ... his brothers, maybe even his children. As a mother, that's a powerful bond. Could you imagine him meeting together with his men, knowing that it would be their last meeting together? What was he thinking about? A normal person might have been thinking: "How do I tell them that they will no longer have me here to guide them? How will they take the news? Will they be able to make it without me? How will they react to me being arrested? Or killed? Will they do something irrational? Will they believe me when I tell them that death is not the end for me?" But Jesus must have known all the answers to those questions already. But He still must have been thinking about them. He must have been thinking about everything, all the while trying to maintain His composure.
And what's more! He was sitting in the room with the very person who was going to sell him out for a little bit of silver! This same man who had been with him for the last 3 years, whom he had loved and cared about, was going to betray Him. And He announced this to the group. Think about it. How easy would it have been for Jesus to have called Him by name, and put a stop to the whole thing. But that would have messed up so much (not to mention the whole laws of whatever science would have been messed up if Jesus predicted something of the future that was changed, then was it really something of the future, and then what would he have to predict - yeah that circle is another topic for someone else haha). But all jokes aside, if Jesus had done that, He could have put a stop to His death - at least for the time being. But He didn't. He simply said ONE OF YOU WILL BETRAY ME! And what did EVERY ONE of them reply? "Surely Not I!!!" That's got to sting Jesus. He must have been thinking something along the lines of "Are you serious? You are going to sit here, and look me in the eye, and tell me surely you wouldn't betray me? Are you serious?" You know ... it's a good thing we have a loving, forgiving, patient, PERFECT Messiah. I sure wouldn't have fit the bill. (Which is why I am human and not God!)

So after all of this, Jesus takes His disciples out to pray in the garden. Jesus is praying so hard and really thinking about all that is about to transpire that he is sweating blood. And what are His disciples doing? SLEEPING! Seriously men! Where is your wake up call? When Jesus is actually led away in handcuffs? Or the dying on the cross part?
But think about it! How often are we like those disciples? Do we pray with earnest? Or are we more likely to fall asleep or let our minds wander while someone else is praying? The disciples had been told that His time with them was coming to an end, and they needed to pray but instead they slept. We have been told that our days are numbered and we must be ready, but instead we spiritually sleep. Where is our wake up call? Jesus has already been killed! How many times must He die before we get the picture? This is why we remember Easter each year! We need a wake up call because we seem to fall asleep throughout the rest of the year!

So anyways ...while they are out in the garden ... here come the guards ... and Judas - who betrays Jesus with a KISS! Nothing like saying I love you, but not more than money.

Good Friday! Jesus is crucified. Jesus is not just killed ... He is killed the death of a criminal. Pilate even offers to release Him to the Jews - as was the custom to release one criminal. But would you believe that those same people who at the beginning of the week were singing His praises were now demanding for a murderer to be released. They wanted Jesus to be crucified!
We've all seen the depictions of Jesus on the cross, or Him carrying His cross to Calvary. But the one movie that hit me hard was Passion of the Christ. It was gruesome! There was a lot of blood!! We've heard it said that Jesus shed His blood for us ... wow this gives it new meaning! I think the part in the movie that hit me hard was after they beat Jesus with the cat of 9 tails - ripping his flesh off his bones literally - his mother came in and began wiping up his blood with her head piece. To see the amount of blood on the floor was breathtaking - and not in a good way. Thinking about all the pain and suffering Jesus went through makes me cringe for real. And then they take him and drive NAILS through his hands and feet and then stand the cross upright. The only thing keeping gravity from pulling him to the ground were the nails in his hands and feet! Oh how that must of hurt!! When I saw the scene of Jesus on the cross in between the two thieves in the movie Passion of the Christ, I couldn't get over the skin coloring portrayed. The two thieves had "white" skin ... not bloody at all. But Jesus' entire body was red from blood from being beat so much before being put on the cross. If you want to think of it this way - Jesus was our scapegoat. The crowds took their shots at Him - I think because they were too prideful to look at their own sin, so it's easier to make someone else look like the bad one! And the ironic thing - Jesus never once did a single thing wrong! Where is the justice in this world?
But you know ........ as horrible as all of this is ..... it saddens me to realize that I am the reason that Jesus went through all of that. Before I was created, He loved me. He felt that I was worth all of this agony He went through. He knew that if He did not go through with this ... if He didn't cleanse me of my sins, I would never be able to spend eternity with Him. For this, this is why we have Easter ever year. This is what we are supposed to reflect on during Holy Week.
We should be humbled by this act of servitude by Jesus. We should be sorrowful that we are sinners. We should have a desire to turn from our sins and do anything that is asked of us by God. We LITERALLY owe God our lives!! It is not a figure of speech because we should do something for Him, it is a literal thing: Jesus LITERALLY gave His life when He was brutally MURDERED on our behalf. The LEAST we can do is serve Him! Don't we owe Him that much?

The following song was playing while we took communion at the Maundy Thursday service. I had heard the song before, but to sit in silence and really listen to these words during this service - when I was already deep in reflection - was very touching. I can't explain it. Except that I am the reason that Jesus was named a criminal and killed as such. He took on all of our crimes and paid our debt so that we will never have to. Because of Him we are free peoples.

Glory Revealed - By His Wounds Lyrics

(Feat. Mac Powell, Mark Hall, Steven Curtis Chapman and Brian Littrell)

Isaiah 53:5

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
And crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed
And by His wounds, by His wounds

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to pose a question.
If you were to have gotten into a bad car accident that left you trapped in the car with death imminent. (Even go as far as to say that accident was your fault.) While you are trapped, so many people have driven by and ignored you. Maybe some have stopped, but they simply just told you what to do but didn't want to do anything themselves. They felt that you got yourself in to the situation, you should get yourself out. But then, just when you've come to terms with dying, a stranger stops and puts his/her life at risk to save yours. How would you repay that person? I don't know about you, but I feel that I would be forever indebted to that person. I sure wouldn't treat them like a burden or put them on the back burner. I've just made a new best friend and would be continually repaying them forever.

Isn't that the way we should be with God? We are alive because He DIED - literally!

But you want to know the great thing about the God we serve? He didn't just die ... He conquered death itself and came back to life. Not too many people can make that claim. And because He conquered Death from Satan, we know that our God is The All Most Powerful! I am glad that My God is the best in the world! He is the ONLY GOD! All other gods are nothing. Satan has no power over me because I belong to Jesus Christ - the one who has defeated Satan once and for all.

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE EASTER!!
I know it has passed this year. But that doesn't mean you can't reflect on this throughout the year. But when Holy Week comes next year ... don't let it sneak up and pass by without giving it any reflection!!

Bring on the Rain

Tonight was our Ladies' Prayer Group. Of course, I have a million things I need to do instead. And it was tempting to skip. But the more I thought about, the more I realized Satan was trying to convince me to skip - all the more reason why I needed to go.
So Carissa and I head out in the rain to meet with others to pray.
On my way there, I couldn't help but notice how frustrating it is to drive in the rain.

• You have people who don't practice extra precaution, and make foolish mistakes.
• Your tires may lose traction.
• Your vision may be obstructed.
• Traffic moves at a slower pace.
• It always seems to change intensity, causing you to adjust your wipers.
• You have to be careful to not hit the breaks too hard.

The list could go on. Overall, you have to be cautious and smart about driving in the rain - however unpleasant it may be.
We have to be smart, we have to be cautious, but we ultimately have to keep going. We cannot slam on the breaks or stop in the road. We have to move with the flow of things, but we have to make wise decisions along the way. Yes, there are times where the rain may become so intense that you cannot see beyond the blankets of rain on your windshield. Those are times when we have to take a break until we can see where we are going again. But it is important for us to pull off to a safe place before stopping.

As I drove, it occurred to me how on our Christian walk we all drive through the rain at times.
Without a doubt, we will endure hard times along the way. Just like the rain, we cannot control the circumstances. We have to trust God to get us through the hard times.
Yes, during these rough patches, we may briefly "lose traction" or veer off to the side, or even come close to hitting someone else. We have to make smart decisions through these hard times. The most important thing we have to remember, though, is that with God's help we will get through the rough patch. Stopping along our walk will not help the matter. Yes, we can wait and the storm may blow over - but we haven't gotten anywhere. We are still in our starting place. We cannot become complacent in our walk with God ... we must be moving forward - even if that means we have to walk in the rain.

So while I was thinking about all of this - while, of course, being a cautious driver in the rain :) - I suddenly became aware of the song that was on the radio. The song was "Call on Jesus" by Nicole C. Mullen. It seemed so appropriate that I was sitting here thinking about the hard times we will go through, and how God will be there to help us through, and here comes a song that declares that all things are possible when we call on Jesus.

Verse 2:
Weary brother, broken daughter,
Widowed, Widowed lover you're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on

Chorus:
When you call on Jesus,
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When you call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you--

Bridge:
Call Him in the mornin', in the afternoon time
Late in the evenin' He'll be there
When your heart is broken,
And you feel discouraged,
You can just remember that He said
He'll be there

It was very refreshing to be reminded that we must Call on Jesus ..... and here I was ...... on my way to a prayer meeting. I was on my way to Call on Jesus with other sisters in Christ! And I had been tempted not to go!

And then .....

After I leave the uplifted prayer meeting, I am driving home and begin to think about all of this again, and how I should blog about it. I have the radio on, but only half listening. I hear them announce a song by MercyMe. I had not heard this song before, but the first couple lines stuck out to me so I keyed in to the rest of the song and wow! how fitting it was!! The song is called "Bring the Rain." The gist of this song is that people questioned why the writer praised God through all he had been through. His response was ... why not? Essentially, it is during these times of "rain" that he felt closest to God. He realized that God was the one to keep him safe through the rain. And if it meant, being able to bring glory to God ... then bring on the rain!
WHOA! That is the story of my life! So many people are surprised when they learn of my not-so-wonderful childhood and family situation etc that I am the Christian that I am today. But instead of pulling me away from God, my circumstances pushed me into God's loving embrace! Those were the times I felt closest to God!
And to feel that close to God is so worth going through any kind of rainy day/week/month/year.

"Bring The Rain"

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

The "Church" is for God - not us!

It amuses me to see the number of people who "go to church." It amuses me more to see how many people think that they are supposed to "get something out of going to church." There are so many things wrong with this.
"The Church" is not a building. It is not a meeting. It is not a gathering. Not some service that happens at 11am on Sunday mornings. The "Church" is the people. Each Christian makes up a member of the Church. We don't "go to church." We ARE the Church.

How dare us think that this body of Christ called The Church serves a purpose to benefit us. Do we meet together on Sunday mornings to feel better about ourselves? To become refreshed or renewed? These are by no means the purpose of The Church! Yes, they may be a by-product of gathering together as the body of Christ - but it should not be our motivation for gathering. It should not be our expectation when we meet with other Christians.

The purpose of these meetings on Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, Wednesday evenings, or any other time we meet together as The Church is to WORSHIP GOD!
Let's think about this.
Why do we have life? God gave it to us.
Why do we continue to live? God created our bodies to function in that manner.
Why do we know love? Because God loved us first.
Why do we have people in our lives that we love and they love us? God.
God is the reason for our being. He is the author of our lives. Everything we are or have we owe to Him. Because of Him, I know I can live each day not wondering what will happen to me when I die. There are so many things around us that we should realize that God is the one to whom we need to thank and praise.
We worship God on a daily basis simply by living according to His calling.
However, it is appropriate and necessary for us as "The Church" to gather to formally praise God together. When we meet together in this manner, we are communally declaring that God has been great to us, He deserves our praise, and we want to join together to show Him how much we appreciate Him.

Think about it this way. Someone you know is (having a birthday, graduating, getting married, having a baby, getting a promotion, retiring, [fill in the blank with whatever you might through a party for!]) You gather with people who all know and love this person to throw a party for this person to let them know you are celebrating them and their achievements etc. You can tell them individually that you are happy they are alive, congratulations, you love them, etc; but it just doesn't have the same impact as when everyone joins together and celebrates them!
Put a twist on this: YOU are the one having a birthday and everyone you know and love come together to throw you a party. The whole party is revolved around you. The point of the birthday party is to celebrate YOU! After all, isn't that why we celebrate birthdays? We celebrate the day each person entered the world. Celebrating that day indicates that we are happy they are alive!

In this same way, yes it is important for us to individually praise God for his existence. But it is so much more meaningful when we gather with others who feel the same way!

Now let's put a bigger twist on all of this!
Have you ever had a birthday party where someone shows up and somehow makes the party about them?! It's no longer all about you - as it should be - but it becomes about someone else.
That is how God feels when we show up for Worship hoping to get something out of it. We turn God's party to all about us!

When we go to someone else's party and are genuinely happy for them and spend the time showing them your love for them, you will genuinely have more satisfaction and enjoy yourself a lot more than if you showed up hoping to make the party about yourself. The same as with worship. When we "go to church" for us - we will not be as fulfilled as when we gather as The Church to praise God! When we praise God ... His love overflows in such a way that we become consumed in it in an almost physical way!

So next time you grudgingly put on your Sunday best, climb in the car, and head out on Sunday morning when you'd rather be in bed ....... remember that you have so many reasons to praise God that you should be itching to get to your destination just so that you can share in your excitement over the awesome things God has done in your life with others who feel the same way!