Good-bye SuperMom

I know. I know. 

SuperMom does not exist. 

So why do I try to be her? 

It has only been 68 days since my body brought forth a brand new human being. The entire process of creating this new person took approximately 280 days. 280 days of changing my hormones, stretching my body in ways that don't seem possible, exhausting my body's energy reserves, and overall changing me into a new mommy - again. These past 68 days only equate to about 1/4 of the time it took to miraculously make our beautiful daughter. 

Can I really expect my body, my hormones, my energy, and my emotions to be back to "normal"?

And not only is my body working on figuring out its new normal, we now have to figure out how to function as a family with 3 kids. It has been almost 4 years since we last had a baby in our house. Either my brain is foggy from all the time passed between our 2nd and 3rd babies, or this little lady cries more, nurses more, needs to be held more, and will only sleep with Mommy more than the other two. Did the first two really scream if Daddy held them? 

I guess if I think really hard and am truly honest, yes my babies were all needy.

 But then again, they are babies. 

 They NEED their mommy.

It is okay that we have days of just sitting on the couch because the growing-like-a-weed two month old NEEDS nourishment to help her growing body. 

It is okay if I can't get much done because I am holding a wee one who NEEDS to feel the security of being close to Mommy - in turn, learning how to trust. 

More importantly, learning how to trust that Mommy will always be there to meet her needs and take care of her. 

It is okay to snuggle with a sleeping baby because she NEEDS to hear my heartbeat and smell my scent to help her sleep - after all, she will only need this kind of comfort for a short span of her life. 

It is even okay that my big girls are spending more time learning how to entertain themselves, get along, and learn the responsibility of being Mommy's big helper because the baby NEEDS Mommy in ways they don't anymore. 

When they were each babies, I sat with them, held them, snuggled their sleeping bodies, and allowed my world to revolve around each of them while they were helpless babes in need of their mommy. Now a new babe has joined our family in need of her mommy in the same exact ways. And for the time being, we do whatever we need to do to meet the needs that need to be met, and survive this season with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and even self-control.

I must make a confession. My days have not been filled with all those virtues. I have been hard on myself for not being able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes comfortably yet. I have been hard on myself for not being on routine yet. I have been impatient with my loved ones. I have been hard on myself for not keeping my house clean. I have even been hard on myself for stressing over these things and being impatient with myself. Don't you love that? 

Being impatient with myself for not being patient with myself. 

I think I just need to give myself grace all around.

"Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. 

My power works best in weakness.'

So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, 

so that the power of Christ can work through me."

2 Corinthians 12:9