*Day 4: Something You Have to Forgive Someone For*

This answer came pretty quickly to me, but it is something that I have been working on for a long while. In some regards, I have moved forward ... in others, it is still a work in progress.

The people ... my parents.
The what ... a lot.

Without writing a book about my life story (which I could and maybe I should someday), my childhood was not all peaches and cream. I grew up with parents whose personalities made them clash ALL the time, so much so that there weren't many days without fights (that sometimes turned physical). As the oldest of 5 kids, I took on a "caregiver role" for my siblings. When I was around the age of 12, they decided on a divorce - which opened up a whole new can of worms revolving around custody battles, bad mouthing one another, using the kids to hurt the other parent, and the list could go on and on. We went from parent to parent, to foster care, to parent, to family members, back to parents; and some13 years later, they are still having issues (that I am thankfully completely separated from).

Upon starting my own family, I resolved to forgive my parents and move on so we can all have a good relationship. I want my children to know and love their grandparents (all of them), and I don't want them to inherit the stupid drama that I have dealt with for the first 22 years of my life.
I am happy to say that I have a good relationship with both my parents and my stepmom, and I have been able to learn from their failures (and their successes) to make me the mother and wife that I am today. I have been able to see the way they treated each other and their children (even if unintentionally) and turn that around so that I can have a healthy relationship with my husband, and am able to encourage my children and teach them good values in life. And most importantly, I have learned the value of modeling for my children. My parents forgot the value of their actions when it comes to raising children. Words only go so far. Children pick up on what they see the people they love do.
For me, I think who my parents were has helped me to define the kind of person I want to be. And I thank God for helping me create a good life out of something yucky.

The part of all this that I struggle with 100% forgiveness is when I look at my siblings. I think they were impacted more so with all the "junk" because they were younger. I have seen my siblings struggle with issues of faith, with relationships, and some even with the ability to make wise decisions for themselves. And this ... I blame my parents (both of them). I see my parents' issues and their inability to demonstrate for my siblings how to make good choices or how to love your spouse as reasons why my siblings don't realize there is more in store for them if they just fight for it. I pray that they can see that even though I grew up in the same  household as them, I was able to break the cycle and make a great life for myself ... and this is possible for them as well. THIS is my work in progress in the forgiveness department.