"Like Mother, Like Daughter"

     Over the summer, I read an article in a Homelife Magazine that I really liked. It was titled "Like Mother, Like Daughter" and had a list with 10 things a mother should do to set a good example for her daughters. I jotted down the main list to write about later ... and now is later.

     As I watch my daughters grow and learn, there is one thing that is extremely obvious. They learn what they see. They copy other people's behaviors, and say what they hear other people say - especially things they see and hear Mommy and Daddy say.

     When I was growing up, my mom used to say "Do as I say, not as I do." I have always hated that saying. And often my retort was "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you are saying" or "Actions speak louder than words." When it comes to raising children, it is so important to remember that parents must model good behaviors so their children will see a good demonstration of what is expected. If what I do does not match what I am trying to teach my children with words, my attempts are futile. Before children even have a vocabulary or have language comprehension, they learn from watching those around them.

A country song has a line that I love. It says, "I'm gonna be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be." That is my goal in life. 

With that being said, here is that list of things a mother should be sure to do to teach her daughter well.

• Reading your Bible and praying
•  It is so important for me to show my children how to have a relationship with God. They can learn things from church, but it ultimately falls on my shoulders to teach them how to practice what they are learning at church. If I want them to carry their faith with them when they grow up and start a family of their own, then I need to show them how to make it part of their daily life.
• Treating your husband with respect
• How I, as a wife, treat my husband will lay the foundations that will go with my daughters when they get married. I want my daughters to have healthy loving relationships that thrive and succeed. If I can set a good example for my daughters now, then maybe I can help them make good decisions when it comes to getting married that will ultimately help prevent a potential divorce or years of fighting. 
• Also, if my husband and I can model a good loving relationship that is filled with respect for one another, then our children can learn good relationship skills. They will learn not only how to relate to a spouse, but with their friends and family.
• Dressing and behaving modestly
• In today's world, so many girls and women have lost respect for their bodies. They dress to attract guys or act in ways they think will get someone to "love" them. The sad thing is the attention this behavior and clothing attracts is not "love" and is usually less than they deserve and could get from being true to themselves. I want more than anything to instill in my daughters a healthy respect for who they are as women of God. I want them to protect themselves from potential harm by dressing modestly and acting appropriately, but I also want them to know in their hearts that it is *who* they are that matters most - not how they dress, what they look like, or how flirty they can act. I hope I can teach them that they need to be true to who they are inside, and of course, I pray that I raise young ladies who are self confident, good, Christian girls with values and modesty. And the number one way to do that is to carry myself with the same values, modesty, and attitudes that I am trying to teach them.
• Looking well to the ways of your household
• This is an area I am still working on. I did not grow up in a clean house with good housekeeping routines in place. And because of that, I am still teaching myself how to set good routines that will help keep our house clean, and that I can teach our children good practices for housekeeping. If they don't start learning from a very young age, it will be harder to teach them when they get older. I pray that I am able to set a good example for my daughters on how to have a clean home and good routines that keep the entire household running smoothly. I have to remind myself that the things I do or do not do now have the potential to affect my daughters' households in the future, which then could be passed on to my future grandchildren etc. I have to decide now that I will do all I can to pass on good habits for my children, grandchildren, and so on.
• Speaking kindly to unkind people
• We all encounter unkind people in our lives, and human nature is to respond to them with the same attitude they are giving us. But that is not how Jesus expects us to respond. When our children are faced with those unkind people, they will respond in like manner unless they have been specifically taught and seen model behavior of the proper way to respond. It takes a lot of training to go against human nature, and therefore it is very important for me to always show my daughters how to be kind when faced with unkind people.
• Reaching out to the poor and needy
• Children often learn judgmental attitudes from their parents' behavior - even if subtle. When we see a homeless person, or beggar, or someone else in need, our children see them too, and then they look to see what we do or don't do. If we ignore them, look away, or go out of our way to avoid them our children, then translate that into these are people we don't associate with and that in some form or fashion these people are bad or there is something wrong with them. And this is not the behavior Jesus teaches we should have. Jesus set the example for us that we are to feed those who are hungry, clothe the naked, house the homeless, visit the sick, etc. We must model the behavior Jesus expects of us for our children.
• Keeping a positive attitude, even in difficult circumstances
• Through life, we all - including our children - will encounter hardships, but it is how we handle these hardships that define the kind of person we are. If we want our children to be positive people who are able to grow and come out of hardships a stronger person, then we have to show them how to do that. If we are always negative and out of control when we face hardships, our children will not learn healthy ways of dealing with these trials.
• Giving honor to your parents and your in-laws
• As parents, we all want our children to respect us and obey us. We can tell them that the Bible says so all we want, but if they see us disrespecting our own parents, they will have a hard time finding respect for us. If we want our children to respect us, we must respect our parents as well.
• Turning off the TV
• There are so many inappropriate things on TV these days. If our children see us watch things without hesitation, they will consider those actions, words, and ideas acceptable. We must demonstrate for our children what things we should or should not allow into our minds by censoring the things we see on TV. If our children see us turn something off because it has bad language or inappropriate content, they will have a clearer picture of what we should and should not allow into our minds. 
• Telling the truth
• This one falls heavily into the "actions speak louder than words" category. We expect our children to always tell the truth, and we discipline them if they lie. But if our children catch us lying, how are we to expect them to always tell the truth? 

All in all ... as a mother to two daughters, I must model good Christian behavior if I want my daughters to grow up to be good Christian woman.

Source the article was found: Homelife magazine July 2010