Stepping out of the Boat

     Sometimes in life we are presented with opportunities to show God that we trust Him. It is in these moments that we are asked to step out of the comfortable boat and walk on water. The only way that is possible is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, and not to be overwhelmed by the waves crashing all around us. These moments are difficult but can be a very rewarding experience.
     When I think about these moments and struggle, I am reminded of when Jesus chastised Peter for not having enough faith. (Matthew 14:31: Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”) I must take comfort in the fact that Jesus will help me take the necessary steps to following Him towards that rewarding experience; and if for some reason I do get overwhelmed and fall ... I know he will catch me and not let me drown. 
     I am now at a point in my life that God has asked me to step out of the boat and take that step of faith. God put into motion the ball that ultimately is ending my job as Minister of Youth and Children at my church. I know this is the step God wants me to take, as when I realized my job was ending I felt physical relief - almost as if a weight was being lifted from my shoulders. I have no doubts that Jesus is standing there telling me to step of out of the boat and come.
     The waves, though, are high and fierce. I try not to look around at the wave too much because it can be overwhelming, but it hard to not see them. Some of these waves are finances, living arrangements, job details, and other stresses that probably should stay out of my blog for the time being. With my job ending, we will be on David's income alone and right now his income is less than mine. So our income would be cutting drastically. Which leaves us with how to pay bills, and what to do about our house. Right now we own it and pay a mortgage on it. So do we sell it and turn to family for support? Or do we stick it out and eat away at savings until we can't do anything else hoping that something turns around for us? As for job, all of this that has happened was God's way of answering my prayers and making a tough decision for me. I do not plan to look for a new job, especially not one in a church.With me not getting a new job, it puts a lot more pressure on David getting a new job. We prefer one that is with his degree (but that's a whole different blog about companies that require people to have experience, but that leaves people unable to get experience because no one will hire them - vicious cycle!), but if he can't get one with his degree just yet, we hope that something will open up for him that will at least pay the bills.
     All of these waves could really bring us down. They could lead us away from God's plan. And we, like Peter, could start sinking. But Jesus tells us to Trust Him! When we take that step of faith, and we get out of the boat He will protect us and guide our each step. For me, I feel God is calling me away from congregational ministry, but not away from ministry. God is still guiding me in the direction of the ministry that He has planned special for me; I just don't know what that is yet. I've always known I was still on a journey following Him. He has now made it clear it's time to take that step. For me, that step out of the boat is me being able to be a SAHM, teaching my children, taking care of my family, and teaching my children to be lovers of Jesus. My ministry for now is my family. I would hate it if I spent all my time and energy to minister to other people, and I neglect the spiritual and physical needs of my family. I want to devote all of who I am to bring my children up in the ways of the Lord. They were given to me as a blessing from God. He has entrusted David and I with the duty of raising them to be children of God. This is what I know I am called to do. I know that God has more plans in store as life goes on, as my children get older, and I've matured more in my faith. But God only reveals small parts of His plan at a time. And for now this is it.
    So here I am God. I don't know how you will provide, but I know you will. I don't know what's to come, but I know you do. I am getting out of the boat. I am taking a step towards you. My eyes are fixed on you. And, with your help, I will not be overwhelmed by the waves around me.   Amen.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

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Carolyn Carty, 1963